Have you thought of what your kids will say after you have passed? What will they say to their children about you even years after you are at your resting place (be it upstairs or downstairs, get my drift)
This was a conversation I had with a young man named "Bryan" who's father had passed away about two years ago. He was telling me how much he missed his dad, who was a mentor to Bryan. The fun times that they had together. The lessons Bryan learned because of the time he spent with his dad.
After speaking to Bryan, I really started to think about what my son will say to his friends about me when I pass away. I really want to know what my bonus daughters Betsy and Becca will say about me too.
I have a friend named "Lawrence" (not his real name) who has three kids. Lawrence recently broke up with his girlfriend, and for the first time in years, he is single. All he would fixate is not having a girlfriend. Several of us told him to focus on his kids and himself. Do you think deep down his kids care if he has a girlfriend or not? They want to spend time with their dad. Again, after speaking with Lawrence, I'm sad to say that I really do not feel he understood that he needed to make his kids a higher priority. What legacy is he going to end up with?
Have you really sat down to think of what your legacy is? Think about it for a moment. What is your relationship like with just not your kid's but your circle of influence?
Do you care what others will say about you after you have moved on? I really thought about this after speaking with Bryan. His face would light up as he talked about his dad. I truly wanted to cry.
As much as I do tell my wife Ann that I do not think about if a person likes me or not: I do care about how I treated them. Does that make sense?
For me, I do not feel that I have been a good enough role model for my family. Currently, I have struggled with my weight, hate my day job, and I feel my depression is getting worse. This is NOT how you create a positive legacy. So, how does someone create a lasting legacy?
I want to share with you my seven ideas to create a better legacy. The order is irrelevant: it's about the execution.
Yes, I can keep going, but you are a smart person, so I know you understand where this is all going. We parents are FAR from being perfect. Try being a bonus parent: even more laborious.
As I said at the start of the piece: do you think of your legacy? After talking with Bryan, it really did hit me of where I can improve as both being a man and a dad. For me, I want to have more meaningful conversations with the Wonder Twins. I want to be better at (if they are open to it), offering life advice. Being honest with my mistakes so they can learn from them.
Overall we parents should remember that our kids are watching us and listening to us. Yes, the old saying talking about our actions speak louder then words are truth.
My plea to you is that going forward, you will think more about your actions because when you are long gone from this world, wouldn't you want your kids to say kind things about you? Especially at your final resting place. Again either up or down.
Tommy Maloney is the Executive producer and host of the podcast Blending The Family, where you can find on ITUNES, Iheart Radio, Spotify, and Stitcher Radio.
Tommy has spoken at TEDx, Ignite Fort Collins, and Keynote Speaker at Everything Dad Convention. He even has won speaking awards through Toastmasters International.
Tommy Maloney is an Author and Life Strategist. The author of the books "25 Tips For Divorced Dads." "Why not you, Why Not Me" and His new book, "My Dad's Advice At 5:04 AM" is coming out in 2020. Tommy enjoys a good red blend while writing or hiding from the family. A dad to Betsy, Becca, Connor, and Duke. A husband to Ann.
TEDx Talk: https://youtu.be/azG2K47iz4Q
Apple Podcasts: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/tommy-maloney/id958223196?mt=2
Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetommymaloney
The Good Men Project: https://goodmenproject.com/author/tommy-maloney/